tinkerbelling | ♬ IC contact.

I think it is more...caring for a person because they're that person. [For him. There are many good looking men around Anatole, but he doesn't wonder about what kissing them sober would be like. No, he's always been the kind to love wholeheartedly and not just give into random temptations.]

Is it normal for someone to come to such a realization...later in life? [In his old age of. Mid twenties.]

Of course. Sometimes it takes a lot of time to understand who we are and what we want.

[So then could it be real? Could he truly...feel for a man? He's still so confused.]

How do you...know?

Well -

[ she tries to think about how to explain it. ]

I think you just...know. I mean when Finn and I sang together for the first time I sort of knew I liked him more than just a friend. I think that you just get to know someone and like them in a way that you don't like other people.

[And that's how easy it was with Gwen - a few glances, a few words, and he was hooked. But Cas...could it be because he never allowed himself to consider anyone else? Could it be because he never allowed himself to consider a man? He still has to think so much.]

Thank you, Rachel.

Don't -

[ she thinks about it. ]

Pressure yourself. Just...let it be. I think that what needs to happen will happen.

[But he doesn't want to keep Cas hanging like he's been for so long, and that is a lot of pressure on him.]

I will - try.

Sometimes it takes a lot of time to understand what we want. Finn hurt me a lot in the days when he wasn't sure if he wanted me or Quinn. I think you need time, mostly.

[ She really wonders what happened to the girl he liked but doesn't ask. ]

[He'll tell her if she asks, but won't volunteer the knowledge otherwise.]

I don't want to hurt anyone.

I know. Which is why I think you need to calm down. Try not to over-think it. It's something that will unfold itself, I think.

How do I keep from doing that?

[It's been on his mind constantly since it first happened.]

[ thinking about it. ]

Is it...over? Between you and...that girl?

[Have a small, sad smile.]

It never really was. [No matter how hard he tried, Cas was right the first time they spoke.]

But your feelings for her - are you still in love with her?

I will always love her but...I think I've begun letting her go for...a while now.

[And maybe that love is changing, maybe he could come to love Gwen as he loves Merlin, Arthur, Morgana...as a friend.]

It's just fine loving someone and not being in love with them. You just...need to tell them goodbye. Not them but...let that part go. And if anyone else will fill the place in your heart it's fine too. I mean, it doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl. You just need to take time. Sometimes when we're in love with someone we kinda...make them our center of being and when fall out of love with them we need to get to know ourselves again.

[Rachel, how are you so wise?]

Yes - I think you're absolutely right. I have spoken to her...let her go. [And he barely recognizes himself so maybe some time to get to know himself would help. ~~He could be a rock star!~~]

And I do feel I have changed considerably as of late.

It can be really scary...I mean, I remember when I wasn't with Finn it was just so hard but he needed to find himself and maybe I needed to find out things about myself too. Like you do now. It's not easy but it'll turn out for the better. If you talked to her it's wonderful and maybe it'll take time before you know...you could tell Hello to someone.

[ smiling. ]

But it's time you need. And you'll see, you'll be happy again when it'll pass. And then you could also know how you feel and not be confused. You should start with feeling happier and you'll see it'll catch.

In fact! I have just the thing for that.

[But Rachel - what if he already said hello? He smiles fondly]

You always do.

Well it's just that it doesn't have to be a bad thing or a time to be sad. It can be exciting and new. I mean defining yourself and starting again. It can be fun! And luckily Celine has a song about it.

[ shuffling through her iPod and oh yes there it is. Putting her ferret down and jumping to her feet. ]

She's a genius that way.

[ Pressing play so she could sing. It's Celine and the fact it's a song for someone else that get Rachel away from bed and into her natural elegant. ]

[And he can help but just smile because - because it's so right for their situation and the epic combination of the song, her talent and most of all - their connection is just overwhelmingly uplifting.

It's the first true smile he's smiled in so long, and it doesn't surprise him at all it she gets it out of him.]

[ That's the one thing that never fails to make Rachel feel better, singing. Inspiring others through songs is even better so she laughs a bit. ]

She's a pop goddess for a reason.

Pop goddess?

[Is Rachel a practitioner of the old religion?]

In a way that everyone loves her and she's worthy of adoration. And does pop songs and powerful love ballads.

So you call people who are well loved gods and goddesses? [But what about...religion.] What are - 'pop songs'?

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